All It amounts to the same

Where I am?
Standing in my mind is the same old picture
reflecting absolutely nothing
May I choose?
watch me I will say the true
see my mouth is open
Why you can not hear me?
Should I repeat?
are not sound into my words
Feel me, I am alive
but you did not listen carefully my pulse
and turn and walk away.

Desire

Slipped my hands through your skin
gently taking you
caress you
my tongue go round your folds
hold you into my mouth
feeling your warm
I move me rhythmically
waiting for the higher point
when excited I could enjoy your taste

Vampire

She silence came in
saw him inert, fragile, appetizing
nothing inside
knelling on the frozen floor
she comb his hair gently with her hands
was so closer
sucks slowly
enjoy it
His essence was running through her body
She felt alive again
gratefully
kiss his softly lips
and disappeared

In the middle of the night

She contemplates the rain falling down on the street,
it all seems as a dream, in the dark blue night she turned out
The car disappeared without a trace and she stays there alone frozen
she can't call him,
now it means nothing, just as the speculations about how it could had been
wherever she need to take her path
no doubts, they are a waste of time
from now and for a long time hers memories will be blank
but the hope is in the future

Tale

Brother, you will sit to wait the course of events, maybe requesting why you don’t have the courage to move a finger, the answer is obvious, you never being interested in what want to happen, please don’t come with that cares of the neighbor and that you wants to live in a better place where we be all happy and equal, really you’re actually more happy and comfortable stay sitting there. Do you want a soda? yes of course, with one or two ices, wait a moment, here is. If I doubt about your interest by the neighbor? Well, is simple, at yours thirty years, you choose be installed watching the game than you make a simple call to the police, yes of course, this is not your problem, he can hit her everything that he want, that is their problem, is a private business, don’t worry I never judge you, in facts I’m also like you. The game seems interesting, who is you favorite team? I’m inclined for the striped shirts of black and white, what coincidence you also goes for the same team, no I don’t noticed the club banner modest hanging in your wall. Yes please, turn up the volume a bit, the shouts are interrupting.

One great poet and one great poem

To A STRANGER (by: Walt Whitman)
Passing stranger! you do not know how longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me as of a dream,)
I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall'd as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,
You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours only nor left my body mine only,
You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass, you take of my beard, breast, hands, in return,
I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake at night alone,
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again,
I am to see to it that I do not lose you.

Weekend

I've a lot of thing to do today, but i do want to lost more time and I'll decided to write something only for try.

And my English is worse

Yes i already know it, i use badly the times in the verbs, i write badly and forget many words, the people who speaks english with me don't speak english really(is not their native language), clearly many of them speak correctly, not like I only "beat" it and well, between writing badly and not having feedback I'm losing valuable time of my life .. jejeje ;p

Empty

Without Dreams

Terrible moment

In the black night

I can’t feel anything

Maybe I can't write anymore

Death

I´m not an emo, but i thinks frequently in the death. I love stay alive and all the smalls things that make me feel good, but i can't stop to thinking in all the time that i lost and in the death for itself, when it come all will be stupid, for that reason i try to appreciate all that i do and all that i have.

Advices

Exists a tendency of blaming to the others for our misfortunes, of thinking that if we can't do something, if we suffer, if we lose the confidence in ourselves is stems from someone or something, I'll cite again to Anaïs Nin: " The I am fully responsible for my own limitations " Ask for advices and give them is ok, when everything goes well it's perfect, but it's not we usually try to save our responsibilities, When we'll learn to we're fully responsible for all our acts? and if we can't do something, for simple that it seems, we're responsible too.

Adaptation

Anaïs Nin usually said that she can adapt to herself to himself (talking obviously about her lovers) in that moment this phrase can be misunderstanding. It´s not be blind for pleasing, neither modify our character according to somebody wishes, is only doing an effort, being more flexible in try to understand and covering the needs of the other without changing our scent, I believe that it's the challenge and we can change but only for ourself.

Customs

I decided to write of the custom, because is my desire, I want to do it and this also is one of my customs, such as to do coffee, to prepare the lunch, to feed to the animals, etc. Is an strange thing that everything turns concerning in a routine, how do modify suddenly and don’t feel us empties? as we’re missing something. I remember lively how is leaving a job, you wake up in the morning, look at the clock and say: “Oh, no, I don’t anything to do outside” maybe you come back to the bed or you wake up and do many kinds of things, but it’s not the same. Sometimes I’ as feeling devastated as if something had broken inside me - to that I refer with “empty” - the depression could change a little, but probably like everything will be overcoming, another custom? I try to modify my routine occasionally, but at the end a little of calmness and predictability, is not bad at all in this absurd world .

a Forgiveness Letter?

It's easy to think that in a letter you can "said" more things than in person to person. Only take a pen and a piece of paper (or in my case a computer) and the words seem to sprout for itself. You can do an introspection even try to psychoanalyzing by yourself: I did "that" for ...(a list of motives). Maybe you can't find the reasons (someone said me that) but at least you try to open yourself
Example:
Dear XY: I don't know how to beginning these words, is so common but I really feel it: so sorry. Sometimes I don't see what really matters and give for done the things that I have in my life. I can't justify what I did, but everything has turned a nightmare. That first error created an domino effect domino and now I can't repair all the damage that I done to you. I remember the happy moments with to you by my side, the expression in your face when you're saying to me that you loved me and now, all that we were sharing has disappeared. I know that I can't ask you for forgiveness, but if you're giving me a chance I swear to you that I would do everything possible for be who you want and wait and I'll compensate each of your sufferings with happy moments. I really love you, XX

Dreams

I wanna try to explain myself. I'm usually a dreamer, maybe 'cause i don't live in the real world, I try to build my own world, full of things that i like and images of what i really want in my life. Yes, it's weird, maybe I'm crazy but i said: "i try"; Sometimes as normal people I touch the reality. Today I began thinking about my dreams and if it's possible to make them true. I really don't want that, i think that the dreams are dreams and nothing more, maybe if an illusion comes true, a lot of magic is lost

Who i am? and what I want?

Several times there are open questions in my mind, always the answers changing. I would like to understand why I'm here (if that answer really exist) and I'd like to organize better my own ideas to say that I really want to say

Otona-kawaii [大人かわいい]

Otona-kawaii (”adult cute”) : Refers to the fashion style of women in their late 20s to 30s who wear girlie outfits.

I really wanted to begin this blog with a phrase that could describe me and not waste too much time finding it. I like to count the words to arrange the spaces and keep speaking about me or about my alterego. Practice writing a little, and see if somehow I can convert this from more than a virtual dairy into a panoramic window to my dreams